“How Are You Different?”

A colleague and I were discussing a question we all face. It’s the “How Are You Different” question. As we discussed it, two thoughts came to mind:

• It’s a question customers always ask, but is it the best question they should be asking?
• We’ve been trained in how do respond, but are our responses the most important to the customer?

Let me start with the second question. We are trained to respond to this question. We have endless checklists comparing features and functions. We compare our capabilities with those of our competitors, always designing the checklists to show that we have more features than our competitors. And they construct their own checklists, inevitably showing they have more features than we–though they have selected different features.

We supplement those answers with, “Look at what we’ve done for other customers,” and we present a list of logos of all the customers we do business with. By implication, we are saying, “We are different because these great companies have chosen to do business with us….”

This is the way we’ve handled this question for decades. This is what we’ve trained our customers to expect when they ask that question. So often, it comes very late in the buying cycle. And too often, it comes when they have already made a decision and they are looking for validation of that decision. It’s rare that having one more feature or function will cause them to change their minds.

The issues, regardless of where in their cycle they are posing the question, are back to the big questions I posed at the beginning of the post. Is this the best question they should be asking? Are we giving them the responses that are most important to them?

What should we be asking when they ask us this question?

What if, we responded, “I can’t tell you how we are different—yet. Let me first understand, ‘What problem are you trying to solve’?”

The issue of how we are different from our competition is, largely unimportant to our customers. But we make it important in our focus on our products and capabilities! The issue of how and why we are different is really about, “how can we help them better understand their problem, its implications, its impact, the risks, the change process, and what solving this problem means to them.”

We demonstrate how we are different by the questions we ask and the conversations we engage them in thinking about and understanding the problem. Things like:

• How have you been defining and framing the problem internally? Who in the organization helped you define it this way? What might you be missing in the way you are looking at this problem?
• What have you tried so far, what’s worked, what’s not worked?
• Does anyone impacted by the problem see it differently?
• What assumptions are you making in the way you are looking at the problem?
• What changes need to happen in your organization to solve this problem?
• If we had a perfect solution, what might prevent success in the implementation?
• How……

And our customers might ask us better questions, rather than asking us how we are different:

• What have you learned from working with other organizations facing similar challenges?
• What do you see that we might be missing?
• Have we made assumptions that may be incorrect? Should we be looking at this differently?
• How can you help us make a better decision, not just choose a product?
• How will working with you help us become smarter? (And the ultimate might be —even if we don’t choose your solution?)

The answer to “How are you different,” isn’t really about our products, price, performance, or references. The answer to “How are you different,” is really, “We are different because we help you ask better questions…… We are different because we help you discover the real issues, risks, challenges that need to be addressed…. We are different because we help you navigate this process in a way that builds your confidence and success…. We are different because we care about your success, not just that our products have more features than the others…. We are different because of the way we are working with you in this conversation….”

The next time a customer asks you , “How are you different,” don’t respond by telling them how you are different by comparing the feature/function checklist. Instead, show them how you are different. Show them through the questions you ask, the way you help them think/learn. Show them by being the only vendor that cares more about solving the right problem, the right way, rather than just focusing on selling your solution.

Demonstrate your difference in every conversation or interaction you have with the customer.

Afterword:  Here is the AI generated discussion of this post?  I was worried in the first 50 seconds, they were hallucinating–badly.  I was about to delete the whole recording, but then they got on target.  They created a meaningful conversation.  Enjoy!