A colleague and I were reflecting on past managers/mentors we each had over our careers. We talked about the great ones and what set them apart.
Eventually, we came upon the one thing common with each of our experiences. While different managers displayed this characteristic in different ways, the common thing was:
For some reason, they believed in each of us, more than we believed in ourselves.
For those who know me, you might think, “Dave you are confident, bordering on arrogant, at times. You have always seemed to believe in yourself and capabilities very strongly, how can someone else believe in you more than you believed in yourself?”
What I’ve realized is that each of these managers/mentors saw something in me that I was unaware of, even blind to. Sometimes my confidence may have blinded me to something. Often, it was things I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was doing. Managers had the patience to push my bluster to the side, getting me to see that I could do more or do better.
Often, I was in such a hurry, that I was missing critical steps in building my capabilities and experience.
Sometimes, I was simply blind, I didn’t know what I didn’t know—and I didn’t know enough to try to figure this out.
And too often, I pushed back, I struggled with the idea that I may have not been the smartest, most capable person in the room. That I couldn’t figure out and overcome every challenge myself.
And sometimes, I was ready to give up, but they didn’t give up on me.
Whatever the reason, through my career, there have been a small number of managers who believed in me more than I believed in myself. They had the patience and commitment to coach me, to help me learn, to help me grow.
They had the confidence to let me fail, then help me pick myself up again, learning from that experience and move forward.
They saw possibilities that I never imagined and helped me see and own those for myself.
They were dedicated to, not only, my success on the job, but maximizing my development and potential over my career.
These managers/mentors are rare, I’ve been fortunate to have had them. And some, I neglected to thank until years later and I started accumulating wisdom or insight about how I would not be where I am now, without them.
I still have some powerful mentors who know me better than I know myself. People who have the courage to help me think differently, who have the vision that I can be better than I am.
For managers, there is no higher calling than believing in your people and helping them achieve their full potential.
For individual contributors, search for these managers/mentors, treasure them. As hard as it may be, listen to them. They actually believe in you, more than you may believe in yourself. (And be sure to thank them for what they are doing!)
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