Ask–Don’t Guess–Don’t Assume…..

I’m a, sometimes, fan of Scott Osman’s posts. He just published a fascinating article, “Ask Don’t Wonder” He makes the observation: “In too many situations, uncertainty was causes by trying to figure out what was going on rather than just asking the people who knew.” Our inability to do this, creates unnatural tension in ourselves and in those we work with.

In our roles as leaders or as sellers, I think we, often, do a variant of this. Instead of asking, we make a guess or we make an assumption.

The majority of the time, we are wrong! We’ve guessed incorrectly or made assumptions, based on what we think we know or want to believe. Yet the person we are interacting with, usually has a completely different point of view.

There are all sorts of reasons, most of them flawed, that cause us to do this.

Sometimes, we think we know and assume the other person knows/feels the same way. We may believe our people know the priorities of the organization and know what they must do to achieve, but we never ask to confirm they do.

Sometimes, it’s out of arrogance, “we’re the smartest people in the room.” We don’t explore other points of view, we don’t verify alignment, we don’t know if we may be missing something or misunderstanding.

Sometimes, we think we are being efficient. We don’t take the time to probe and understand, we assume we know, seeking to move forward without wasting time.

Sometimes, we are afraid that we might be showing our own ignorance. We believe we should know, and don’t want to appear stupid by asking.

But asking simplifies everything!

As Scott suggests, if someone knows the answers, asking enables us to connect and learn–far more effectively and efficiently than wondering or guessing.

Asking about things we don’t know to others who don’t know sets us up for discovering answers together through collaborative learning.

Asking about things that may be uncomfortable. As Scott outlines, this is very powerful. It helps us get over our fear of offending others. It helps us better understand where we might disagree, enabling the potential of finding agreement. Rather than avoiding these difficult issues, we open up and begin communicating.

As you think about this, asking simplifies everything! It helps us discover answers to things we don’t know far more quickly. It helps us learn and grow, it helps us open communication.

If you are a manager, think of how much more powerful asking is in coaching your people? What are the challenges they face? What are things they might do differently to improve the performance? Where do they need help and support? What are their dreams and goals? How can we help them achieve these things?

The same principles apply with our customers, What are you trying to achieve? Why is that important to you? What happens if you don’t move forward? What are the risks? What do you need to learn? How do you get support? How do we best serve you?

Ask…..

Don’t wonder….

Don’t guess….

Don’t assume…

Just ask!