Relationship Selling

Relationships are important in selling, in business, and life. But what does that mean, at least for selling?

The old stereotypes and some that were prevalent when I started selling include that backslapping sales person, with the latest jokes, who focused on becoming a “buddy.” They were the one’s that not only sent their customers birthday cards or took them out for drinks, but they also sent their customers’ kids birthday cards. The mantra of these sellers was, “When the going gets tough, the tough take their customers to lunch!”

…and there are too many sellers still using this as their mantra in developing relationships with their customers.

But let’s dive into what relationship selling really means and how we build meaningful relationships.

First, relationships are the foundation to everything we do. Unless we are alone on an island harvesting coconuts for our meals, we get things done through and with other people. These people are colleagues in our companies, they are customers, partners and others. Without these relationships, we accomplish nothing.

The nature of these relationships will vary, depending on what we are trying to achieve, and what we need to get work done. At times they are very close relationships, sometimes they are more distant. The relationships can be collegial, they can be very task focused, they can be relationships in which we may disagree and have some contention.

Whatever the nature of the relationship, to get things done we need to effectively manage those relationships.

As we dive more deeply into these relationships, we discover, these relationships may be based on common goals or something which we need to do together to achieve what we might want to achieve.

We sometimes make the mistake, or limit ourselves by focusing our relationships on those that share the same opinions and beliefs. But not considering alternative ideas limits us, or more severely, blinds us.

While they are sometimes difficult, developing relationships with people who disagree (as opposed to being disagreeable), those that have different experiences or ideas, are often the most powerful and meaningful relationships. They can enable us to think differently, to achieve more than we thought possible, and to share those experiences with others having similar goals.

In building these relationships, whether with colleagues, customers, partners, or people who have differing views, we have to build trust and trustworthiness. Trust and trust worthiness have little to do with sharing the same opinions and ideas. But it’s based on shared respect, caring, and a willingness to be open and learn together.

Relationships are difficult! Yeah, I know that’s trite. But without them, we fail. Individually, in our teams, in our companies, with our customers, partners, and in our communities.

And none of this has anything to do with who has the best jokes, remembers our children’s birthdays, and pays for lunch and drinks.