We are constantly preoccupied. We have “to-do” lists filling our heads. We endless tasks and project that have to get done. Others have expectations on us. Whether it’s our managers, people we work with, customers, our families. Sometimes, we create it ourselves. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been so preoccupied with something that I’ve lost track of time, I’ve been late to meetings, I’ve missed other things that are important.
Sometimes, we are preoccupied with distractions. We find ourselves doom scrolling through our devices. We don’t want to miss anything causing us to be distracted by everything. And that distraction becomes our preoccupation. Or we jump from screen to screen to screen. We multitask, falsely believing we are more productive, and that becomes our preoccupation.
Preoccupation fills our lives and time. Preoccupation is, simultaneously good and bad.
Our preoccupation becomes Self-Absorption, with huge thanks to Charlie Green. And, as Charlie suggests, this isn’t the sociopathic self absorption, it’s the way we fill our time and our minds.
But self absorption is hugely limiting. Ironically, it limits us in effectively doing those things with which we are preoccupied. While we may be interacting with all sorts of people, our self absorption limits our ability to effectively engage others.
Self absorption limits our ability to be empathetic. To connect effectively with others. And our ability to connect effectively and impactfully with others is critical to what we want to achieve. It is, critical to our identities as human beings, since we are social creatures.
Becoming less self-absorbed, doesn’t, automatically make us more empathetic. But it allows us to try. It gives us the space to connect with others, to understand. It gives them the space to rise above their own preoccupations and connect with each other.
Becoming less self-absorbed takes conscious effort. We have to look for each opportunity to connect in meaningful ways. Becoming less self absorbed enables us to start to become empathetic. And as we practice, we learn more and more.
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