Late To The Party……

Have you ever been late to a party? It’s always, at least for me, a little difficult.

Arriving late to a party has all sorts of downsides. Probably, to some degree, the hosts are a little disappointed. Perhaps they feel a little disrespect because you didn’t arrive close to the time noted on the invitation. They don’t hold the start of the party until you arrive, they get the party started when they want,  with whoever is there.

Arriving late to the party has lots of other downsides. Much of the food, particularly the most popular dishes are gone. You are left with a few stale potato chips, some weird dip, and maybe some leftovers of other things. The good drinks are gone. The premium bottles of wine and liquor are always served at the start of the party, all that’s left over is the cheap stuff, and there may not be much of that.

But most importantly, all the “groups” have been formed. The various groups are sitting in different parts of the room, deeply engrossed in conversations with each other. You try to sit at the edge of a group listening, perhaps trying to interject, but you’ve missed a lot of the conversation. Or sometimes, you try to change the subject, “A funny thing happened on the way to this party…..” The others smile politely, listen for a few moments, then go back to the discussions they were engrossed in.

If it’s a dinner party, you try to scrape up a few left overs and sit at a table in a corner with the other losers latecomers. And usually you don’t really talk to each other.

It’s an entirely unfulfilling experience. Being late means you’ve missed a lot of the best/most important things that happened. Being late cheats you of establishing relationships with the attendees. You miss what’s gone on, you miss a lot of the context, you have trouble engaging in the conversation. Eventually, you leave, while conversations are still going on, missing great opportunities. Or you shuffle off to a corner eating stale potato chips and drinking bad wine.

There are three other party scenarios that are interesting to think about.

The first is being on time, or even slightly early. You get to help the hosts do a few of the last minute things in preparing for the party. During that, you get into interesting conversations about the party, their expectations, who to connect with. Since you are on time, you get to the good food and drinks. Most importantly, you have the opportunity to meet people before they start forming their cliques Learning about them, getting them to know you, discovering common interests. You find the groups that are most important to hang out with, the great conversations, the fun people, And you start engaging more deeply on things of common interest. And often, that leads to suggestions of, “Hey, let’s have lunch someday….” or, “You’re a rider, my bike club is doing a quick 50 miler tomorrow, do you want to join us?”

In so many ways being on time or slightly early makes the party experience so much more rewarding.

There’s another scenario, that’s even more rewarding. I learned it from my wife, the penultimate entertainer. When people started thinking about the party, she would give them ideas. She helped them think about who they wanted to invite, any themes they might want to have in the party, what the menus alternatives might be. She was great at helping the hosts think about the experience they wanted to have and how they might achieve it. Then she worked with them to create great experiences. Usually, the hosts were so appreciative, she became a featured guest. The hosts would say, “You need to have Kookie help you with your next party…” People would gravitate to her discussing the menu and why some choices were made, sharing their great experience, exploring new ideas. Usually, because of her personality, all the different groups would try to pull her into the discussion. She did these things because she was both talented, but cared about the experience of both the hosts and the participants. And she ended up getting us invited to all sorts of fascinating parties. (I had formerly been a stale potato chip guy, sitting in a corner drinking cheap wine.)

Finally, there are the people that throw great parties. They create interest, excitement. They focus on creating an experience that attracts the right people, that provokes the most interesting discussions. They are very focused, “who are the people that are most important to achieve our goals, what is the experience we want them to have, how do we create that, how do we have them actively engaged, how do we want that experience to leave them wanting more……”

Sometimes, selling is a lot like a party…..

And it seems, too often, we only want to show up, as late as possible, when all the tough work has been done. But when we do, usually all that’s left is stale potato chips……

And somehow, it seems the high performers are the sales “party planners…..”

 

I’m feeling a party coming on……..