Sometimes a simple change in a single word changes our mindset and those who we work with. To me, one of the most important areas in applying this concept is with the words “To,” “For,” or “With.”
With our own people, when we look at enablement, tools, coaching, programs, the choice of which of these words produces a profound difference in the outcomes we are trying to create. When we are looking to maximize performance, the approach—to, for or with–is critical. For example, are Performance Management, Enablement, Technology/Tools or Coaching something we do to our people, for them, or with them.
With our customers, the same issue applies. For example, is Value something we do to them, for them or with them? Is our discovery something we are doing to them for our learning, or something we are doing with them, where each person learns.
What’s the difference and why is it so important?
When we do something “To” someone, we are imposing our perspectives, priorities, and goals on them. The beneficiary is us, not the people we are doing something to. There is no engagement. It’s something that’s important to us, but may not be so for the people we inflict them on. And the responsibility for success, while we might think otherwise, is on us.
Doing something “For” someone, has similar challenges. The beneficiary may extend to the person we are doing something for. Yet, they may not care and they have no ownership of what we are trying to do for them. And, like the previous point, the responsibility for success is on us.
Doing something “With” someone is so powerful. It drives an alignment in interests, goals, priorities. It drives a shared commitment/ownership in the outcomes. The act of doing something with another demands active engagement of each person involved. Doing something with another means we share responsibility for achieving our goals. It’s a collaborative process in which everyone grows and learns.
Changing a single word, changes our mindsets and those we work with, our people and customers. It causes us to think differently, behave, and work differently. It drives higher levels of success.
Take a moment and think about the things you are doing “to” or “for” someone–the people on your team, other functions in the organization, your partners, your customers. Think about what would change if you started thinking about, “How do we do this with someone?”
This change in perspective produces so much more, so much more effectively than any other approach.
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