On Service And Serving

It’s rare that I deviate from writing about business, selling and leadership. But today is Memorial Day in the US. It struck me as important, perhaps more so than ever before, to pause and reflect on those who have served and are serving in the military, regardless of the country in which they served.

I come from a military family. My father served in WWII, Korea and Vietnam, in the Navy and later in the Coast Guard. His brothers served in the Army. My sister served in the Navy, and her husband commanded cruisers and carriers in his career in the Navy. It has always been a custom in our family to take some time during these special days to reflect on their and millions of others’ service.

My father grew up in a time when one served, without question or hesitation. In WWII he trained to be a landing boat commander for the invasion of Japan. I remember him telling me that his instructors told people, “Survival on this will be roughly 1 in 500….” But it was his duty to serve, as it was with the thousands serving with him. He served several tours in Vietnam as an officer.

I never knew the trauma he suffered in serving in Vietnam until decades afterwards. He couldn’t share much of the actual experience, but he shared how deeply it impacted him. It’s one of the few times I saw him cry. I never knew how wrong he thought that war to be, but he was committed to serve. He was driven by his colleagues and the people that served under him. He felt it his mission to do everything possible to have them survive. His unit had a special mission that extended to serving and protecting thousands of others serving. Service was a critical mission to each of them.

Through my family and sometimes in work, I’ve had the opportunity to meet with hundreds who serve. While most of the time, we are laughing and telling stories, I know they will, unhesitantly, do what they must do when called up. It is part of a commitment they have made to themselves, each other, and to their country. While they may disagree, their commitment is to serve.

These are all very special people. Those who have served, making the ultimate sacrifice. Those who have served and retired. Those who are serving today. And their families are special, as well, for the support they provide.

As I reflect on those committing so much to service, I cannot escape thinking about our current society.

There are so many committed to serve in various important ways. Whether they are police, firefighters, EMS, nurses, doctors, teachers, or community workers. They make special commitments, focused less on themselves and more on helping others.

And while all these people may disagree on various issues, they are bound by their commitment to serve. They find ways to set aside their differences, working for the good of their communities and others. They find ways to come together to serve. They come together to make our communities, our nations, our world better places.

Yet we live in a world dominated by our differences. We have lost the ability to see past our differences, to listen to others with differing ideas. We have lost the ability to come together, putting aside our differences, to serve.

To many service is an anathema. We focus solely on ourselves and our tribes.

And, as a result, we are less than what we can and should be.

On this day, we celebrate those who have served and made the ultimate sacrifice. We celebrate those who continue to serve, knowing they view their service as unconditional.

But if we are to take away anything from this day, particularly in these times, we should think about serving and service everyday. We must re-learn how to set aside our differences and work for common purpose. We must learn that service is not “what’s in it for me,” but how everyone can collectively benefit.

And we must find ways to serve, whether volunteering, helping others, and supporting those who serve beyond their self interest.

It’s a bit of a shame that it takes something like Memorial day to remind us (or at least me), but I think the best way we remember them is through our own service.