Communicating, engaging other people in conversations to achieve a goal, underlies every business decision, every complex B2B opportunity. Without, somehow coming to agreement, nothing happens.
Yet, we are overwhelmed with all sorts of data and research that customers don’t want to talk to sellers, that our people are disengaged in their conversations with their managers.
And our personal experience mirrors the data. We don’t respond to sales outreaches to us, even though we are doing the same thing to our customers. We know how bad those conversations are likely to be. We steel ourselves for the “review” with our managers, prepping for the, “You aren’t meeting your goals, you have to do more,” discussions some think is “coaching.”
When we look at our personal experience with great conversations, there are some common factors.
They are two-way, collaborative conversations. We are actively engaging each person in things we are each interested in. Even though there may be disagreement, we listen, question, probe, learn. We may agree to disagree, we may discover ways we can go forward.
These conversations are not stilted, rather free flowing. We are engaged and engaging.
We don’t enjoy conversations with the self centered and self focused, talking only about themselves and how great they are. At a party, we find an excuse to escape to refill our drinks, grab some food, join a more interesting conversation. At work, we have great conversations with our colleagues, exchanging ideas, figuring out how to progress on a project.
We know the characteristics and attributes of great conversations! We practice them every day, in the office, while out with friends, with our families.
Now here’s the insanity!
If we know and practice the attributes of collaborative conversations, why don’t we leverage them in our outreach with customers? Why don’t we practice them in reviews with our people?
Why do we continue to focus on ourselves and our objectives, not on engaging those we are talking to? Why do we constantly feel the urge to pitch, present, turning what should be a two way conversation into a soliloquy?
Why do we continue to do these things when the people we want to engage do everything they can to avoid talking to us?
We know what works–though we can always improve our skills in executing collaborative conversations.
We know what isn’t working.
So why do we persist in doing those things that don’t work?
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