Fifty Shades Of Forecasting

It’s the end of a frighteningly busy week.  So my mind’s fried, and I start considering silly things.

A few weeks ago, I wrote “Reality (Sometimes) Sucks!”  Don Lafferty provided a great comment in a LinkedIn group.  He said, “Funny, my regional sales managers never want reality to get in the way of their forecasts.”

Don’s comment got me thinking.  I could really write a New York Times Best Seller–in the Fiction category.  I’m thinking of calling it “Fifty Shades Of Forecasting.”

I am imagining that it will have all the elements of important to a Fictional Best Seller:  Lies, Deceit, Backstabbing, Mystery, Suspense, Intrigue, Adventure, Villains and Hero’s, Dreams and Wishful Thinking, even Romance.  If I work hard enough, I could probably even include some Sex and Vampires  (do blood sucking managers count?).

So here’s the challenge and idea.  I want to publish an eBook with 50 amazing stories about Forecasting, Funnel, Pipeline Management.  It will have absolutely no redeeming value other than allowing us to laugh at ourselves (and possibly our managers or people) and have some fun.  The book is not being written to provide any lessons about forecasting, but it’s possible you may learn something and get some insights from the situations illustrated in the stories.

But I need your help, I want to crowdsource the content.

Please contribute your favorite forecasting, funnel, or pipeline story.  Here are some rough ground rules:

1. It has to be absolutely true.  Reality is much funnier than fiction.  Don’t embellish the story too much, but it can be colored by your views, observations, and opinions.
2. It could be something you experienced yourself, or observed.  It could even be something you inflicted on your teams.
3. Keep it to less than a thousand words.
4. Thinly disguise it, so no one can trace it back to a specific company or manager.  Don’t include any confidential data.
5. You may want to make it a story from a company you have worked for in the past, not your current company.  I want to give each of you credit for your story–unless you don’t want your real name published.
6. Submitting it doesn’t guarantee that I publish it, but you are giving me the right to publish it if I choose to.  Be sure to let me know if I can use your name as the author, I will absolutely do that.
7. I have the right to do minor edits, and I will get your pre-approval.
8. Just because you submitted something, doesn’t mean I will publish it.  I’m selecting the 50 best.  I do appreciate your time and will give authors of every article submitted acknowledgement in the appendix, if your post isn’t published.
9. I’ll publish it as a Kindle eBook, at least initially.  I’ve never done this, so I don’t know the costs.  But I will give the author of each story I select at least 5 free copies to distribute to friends and family.  If I can figure out a way to give more, I will.  Also, my intent is to make this as cheap as possible–free if I can.
10. Any profits I generate from the “sale” of this eBook will be donated to Charity:Water.
11. Please provide your submission by May 1.  I’d like to try to get the eBook published in June.

So please think of your funniest, but true forecasting story (or it could be loosely related to forecasting/funnel/pipeline management).  Forward this post to friends and colleagues, get them to contribute.  Most of all, Have Fun!

Stay tuned.  Once I publish it, I’ll need everyone’s help in promoting it.  I want to drive it up to the top of Amazon’s sales!

(As a side note, any of you who have experience with publishing Kindle eBooks, I could use your help/instructions.)